Thursday, July 30, 2009

Reality Check

I love the honesty of kids. I never have to wonder if my breath smells or if I have something in my teeth when I'm around them.

So it's quite the feat when my kids say I'm funny and actually laugh at my jokes.

Because more often than not, this is the reaction I get.

But never fear-- I got him the next time.

Oh wait...

He's hard to crack, okay?

Let me try again.

Ahh, there we go.

Now that's real.

P.S. I should get some bonus points for this post-- not even one reference/picture of that third child.

Monday, July 27, 2009


It takes a very confident person to go out in public looking like this.

It takes an even more confident mother to go out in public with a child looking like this.

Once again, I think the heat is making me do things I wouldn't normally do.

Like finally giving our neglected backyard some much needed attention...
on one of the hottest days of the year.
I know I swore off that kid on the blog-- sorry, couldn't help myself.

And can someone please tell me why this is called a bung wrench?
I really hate that word.

P.S. I think it takes a pretty confident blogger to write a post with the word bung in it. Don't you?

Thursday, July 23, 2009


I do hereby solemnly promise (I don't swear) to write a whole post that does not include a picture, a story, or any reference to my third child.

What third child?

I'm afraid if I don't take action soon, I'll have to change my blog title to Fairly What's His Name (you thought I was going to slip and use the "C" word, didn't you?).


Here goes.

Almost there.

What should we talk about?


How 'bout them Cubs? I think it's their year.


Let's try the's really, very, totally hot here.


{chirp, chirp}


Yeah, Harry Potter. That's it. So I saw Harry Potter today. It was okay. I loved the first two movies, not so much the recent ones. I think it's mostly the actor who plays Dumbledore. And plus, those kids were so cute in the first two movies. Why do kids have to grow up (not my kids of course...I'm not referencing anyone in particular, just kids in general)?

Man, this is harder than I thought it was going to be. Maybe I need to join some kind of Mommy Bloggers Anonymous.

But never fear, I always keep my promises. So....I better close.

The End.

P.S. I miss You-Know-Who.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Camera Hates This Kid

Carter officially turned 16 months yesterday. I'm never quite sure how to celebrate such landmarks and I really didn't feel like making a cake or anything, so we just pretended it was an ordinary day. I don't think Carter minded.

I'm not sure I would have even realized he passed the 16-month mark, except he still isn't walking. Yep, you read that right. STILL NOT WALKING!!

Somehow I feel like I've failed him as a mother. Because every good mother has children who pass developmental milestones on time, right?

A couple weeks ago we had someone from the state come and interview us. Carter scored a big fat 0 in gross motor skills. Mother of the Year.

So now we have a physical therapist coming next week to do a full evaluation...blah, blah, blah. Just get my kid to walk! Oh, and get him to actually crawl! I don't ask a lot.

He is really cute, though. They should have asked questions during our interview about his cuteness. I bet he would have scored a 100%, or even 110% or something. I would give him extra credit. Wouldn't you?

P.S. I bet if he had had a name when we left the hospital, he would be walking by now. Remember that? Oh, the guilt!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Summer Lovin'

So the title of this post is my attempt at positive thinking. Because if I was being completely honest, I would have entitled this post Summer Hatin'.

People! It's going to be 112° today! And (my authority on local news) says it'll be 115° tomorrow. One.hundred.fifteen.

But that's alright, azcentral also said that Jessica Simpson is "sad, mad, and confused over the split." So am I, Honey. So am I.

So things could be worse. At least the city of Dallas hasn't blamed me for losing a professional football game.

And at least I have this cute kid to spend the sweltering heat with.

And these two too.

P.S. Take that Jess! And your Chicken of the Sea!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A Critique

Nothing says true love, like "Race to Witch Mountain." At least that's what I always say. Jonathan and I celebrated 9 years of wedded bliss with about a thousand preteens at the Picture Show at Superstition Springs Mall on Tuesday.

I knew I'd eventually see "Race," but I wanted to see the original first. After having seen both, I'm not sure which is my favorite-- both were entertaining in their own ways.

In "Escape to Witch Mountain" you've got the 1975 special effects, awesome (or not) acting, the creepy old man who helps them out, and a great name a few. The 2009 version is definitely more action packed and The Rock does a pretty good job, but I was glad we didn't pay more than $1.

You better watch out, Roger Ebert. I think I've found my new calling in life.

Oh, and I think the newly renovated theater was pretty good. At least it didn't smell like urine anymore and I think my seat didn't even have one unidentified bodily fluid on it. I'd call that a success.

Maybe if my movie critiquing career doesn't take off, I'll go into the movie theater critiquing business. With the great demand of movie theater critique-ers out there, I know I'll always have job security.

P.S. Please forgive me. This post is pretty lame, I know. I'll try to step it up a notch (or 2) next time. And please feel free to send me a detailed critique on this awesome (or not) post.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Routines Shmootines

Ashton was my first child. My guinea pig, if you will. In the midst of all my experimenting, I read just about every parenting book and took many a stranger's unsolicited advice.

Consequently, Ashton had a very predictable routine and very scheduled nap times.

I've become quite lax as the years have gone by. I lightened up a bit with Ian, but poor Carter never had a chance.

He gets carted around to all our various activities and naps come when they come.

Like in the middle of our kitchen floor.

Or at lunch.

And when he actually gets a real nap, it's still in one of these.

I like to call my parenting style laid-back, rather than lazy (which is probably more accurate). But there's never been a kid as loved as this third child (well, maybe the 1st and 2nd ones).

P.S. Do you think CPS peruses Blogger?

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Holy Look-Alike, Batman!

Everyone's always saying how much the boys look like Jonathan. It can make a girl feel a little left out. I mean, I birthed them and all.

But I kinda think Ian bears a slight resemblance to me.
He's tougher looking, but I think some of my DNA might be in there somewhere.

P.S. Can you tell we've been a little bored this summer?

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Red, White, and Shampoo

I'm not much of a camping girl. Only my undying love for the Mr. in my life could get me to sleep...or not the woods...on the a tent...with my children. Oh, and maybe for those children of mine. And maybe for the company of the in-laws.

Alright, so a camping we went.

See that's proof, for all you Doubting Thomases out there.
And yes, that's even a smile on my face (shhh...don't tell anyone).

If you ask the boys what their favorite part was, they'll both give the same answer.

Riding on the motorcycle with Uncle Blaine.

Go ahead and ask Jonathan the same question.


I think this was probably Carter's favorite part.


After a couple days of camping (and some much needed shampooing), we set off to celebrate...our nation's independence, not the end of our camping experience. Alright, maybe both were celebrated (I really did have a good time camping).

Here's a rundown of how it went:
Before fireworks
During fireworks
After fireworks

Moral of the story: Go ahead and skip fireworks after days of camping with no sleep.

P.S. I will admit it was a little painful coming home to 110 degree weather. Almost makes me wish I was camping in the cool of the mountains again. Then I woke up...on my Sealy Posturepedic with the A/C blasting. Life is good.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Baby Got Back

Mothering from the couch has its ups and downs.

Most of the ups are felt by the children in the form of watching more TV, getting away with more than usual, eating whatever, and did I mention watching TV?

The downs are mostly mine-- a very messy house, bored children, and days spent shouting orders from the sofa.

Why all this couch sitting you ask? To quote Ian, "You have a headache in your back, Mommy?"

Yes, we've been hanging out at my annual back-going-out shindig. It's great fun. I blame Ashton, really. This is what his mugshot might have looked like on that fateful day.

Don't let that innocent face fool you. I experienced my 1st back-going-out incident while getting that kid out of the car when he was about 4 or 5 months.

It's not too bad. It only hurts when I walk, sit, or do pretty much anything having to do with my back for about a week. And if I'm lucky, it happens about once a year...twice if the universe really likes me.

Things are looking up...I'm actually sitting at the computer right now and not screaming in agony.

In other news (mostly for the parents in South Africa), I got bangs.
(please ignore the mess-- hurt back, remember?)

And yes, Dad. We're still working on the whole walking thing.
Still no go, though. We're hoping July will be his month.
Any ideas on how to get a kid to walk?

P.S. I gotta get off the couch or soon people will really be saying baby got back about me. Too bad hurting my back hasn't curbed the ol' appetite.