Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Low Self-Esteem?

Just be glad your kid didn't say this to you--

Ian: Mom, your breath stinks.

Me: What does it smell like?

Ian: a swamp


Then the next day after I came home from the pool, Ian and his super nose were at it again--

Ian: Mom, why do you smell ridiculous?

I didn't even know how to answer that one. Does chlorine smell ridiculous to anyone else?

Friday, August 27, 2010


Well, I've survived 4 whole days at my local community college. I'm afraid, though, that my IQ has suffered as a result of those 4 days.

I am definitely not surrounded by the cream of the crop over there, if you know what I mean. I think I wore more clothes than anyone in my classes, had the least number of tattoos and piercings, and I'm sure I was the only one not wearing the popular cigarette-infused perfume.

So, in an attempt to reverse the mind numbing effect of that lovely educational institution, let's do a little learning of our own. Here is a mathematical equation about the goings on at the Fish household.



Only in a house full of boys...

Class dismissed.

Monday, August 23, 2010

School's in Session

What do you get when you cross a minivan with a community college?


Today is my first day of school in over 8 years. 8 years is a long time!

Things have sure changed in those 8 years....

No new school outfit was laid out the night before. I might get a shower before class, if I'm lucky.

No fun lunch was made the night before with a cute note from my mom. Instead, I made my kids' lunches and I'll probably eat an apple on the way to school, if I'm lucky.

I won't be meeting up with my friends after class to hangout. I'll be rushing to pick up my kids from school and make sure they get their homework done and get dinner on the table, if they're lucky.

Personally, I kinda like this way of things anyway. And, I'm really excited to be going back to school. I'm only taking two classes, but this way it won't interfere with my mom time. Carter will be napping while I'm away and I'll be done in time to be home when Ashton and Ian get home.

I just hope those teenagers don't laugh at me when I drive up to the college in my minivan. I know-- I'll just roll down my windows and blare a little Miley Cyrus. That way they'll know I'm legit.

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Summer is Officially Over

Today starts our first full week of school, and I'm not sure I can handle it. 6 hours is just too long for my boys to be away from me!

I mean, who would want to be away from these faces?

After we took the traditional first day of school picture, it was off to school for my little Kindergartner and not-so-little 1st grader.

Poor Ian, though, had a rude awakening that first day. His teacher told me he did fine in the morning, but by the afternoon he was done. She would ask him to do things and he would just tell her no. Apparently he even told her she wasn't the boss of him!

I was mortified when she told me. I felt like I was the one getting in trouble and worried that we had made the wrong decision to put him in all-day Kindergarten.

Well, we had a long talk and that's when I realized I hadn't prepared him properly for what to expect. He said he wanted to go back to preschool because there aren't toys or games at Kindergarten.

And when I told him that his teacher was, in fact, in charge of him-- it was like a light bulb went off in his head and that was a whole new concept for him.

After being told all the horrible consequences that would befall him if his teacher told me he acted that way again, I sent him to school the next day. I was a nervous wreck.

But luckily, he got a good report from his teacher and I could breathe again, until the next school day...and the next, and the next.

Man, this school thing is tough! It's going to give me an ulcer!

But luckily, I've got this one to keep me busy while his brothers are away.

Friday, August 13, 2010

A Letter

My Dearest Cori Bori,

What a lovely conversation we had yesterday! It was soooo good to talk with you, and I do hope you are heeding my advice and are leaving those chickens alone! Poor things.

And, If I'm not mistaken (which, as you know, is a rare occurrence), I might have promised you something in haste during our wonderful conversation. Because, if I had taken the time to think through the logistics of that promise, I would have realized just how utterly impossible it would be.

I'm sorry, but there was absolutely no way I could write that blog post last night, like I promised. I simply had too much to do.

See, I thought about writing a witty take on the boys' first day of school, but then I tripped on their toys all over the living room floor and figured I should probably do some cleaning instead. Do you want my children living in filth? I didn't think so.

Then later I was going to write a hilarious post about how I was sick in bed for a week with the flu and strep throat, but then Project Runway, one of my favorite shows came on, and you guessed it-- I just had to watch it. Would you deprive a girl her one pleasure in life? I mean, I would never dream of turning off the TV when you are watching Yo Gabba Gabba. Remember: don't bite your friends.

That's when I got really serious about writing a post for you. It was going to be all about Carter and how cute he is, and how much he's talking, and all the adorable things he's been doing. But then I remembered I needed to make the boys' lunches for school. I mean, you wouldn't want them to starve, would you?

I even sat down to write about my spa-like experience at the dentist yesterday, where I was lucky enough to enjoy a relaxing and soothing root canal. But by that point, it was past my bed time. You don't want my health to suffer from lack of sleep, right?

In conclusion, I am totally and completely and utterly sorry for not posting an awesome blog post like I promised. How can I ever make it up to you? Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

Your Favorite Awesome Aunt

P.S. Have a great summer. K.I.T. Stay sweet.

Monday, August 2, 2010

A Couple Things I Learned over My Summer Vacation

***It doesn't take a lot to impress my kids. Book a night at a local hotel and call it a vacation! Apparently a sofa bed and a hotel pool are all you need.

(and some cute boys in their pj's )

***I also learned it doesn't take a lot to impress me. Take me to a kiddie movie and it'll be the highlight of my summer. Seriously.
(have you seen it? hilarious. loved it.)

***2 cavities and a root canal later, one painful lesson I learned is it's not a good idea to wait years between dentist visits.

(look at that nice set of teeth...bet she regularly visits her dentist)

***And possibly the most important thing I learned is to not put Carter's pants in Ian's dresser.

(and to never misplace his tennis shoes again either)

All in all, I'd say this was one very educational summer.