fairly fishy

Tales from the Throne

2011-04-08T07:12:00.000-07:00

We're doing the potty training thing over here. You'd think after having successfully trained 2 little boys before, it'd be a breeze this time around. Fat chance.

But he is pretty cute, isn't he? Too bad being cute doesn't keep his pants dry.

P.S. Happy Birthday, Pop! I hope your day is the best, without any pranks....because we all know how cruel those can be, any day of the year. I love you!

The Worst Day of the Year

2011-04-03T07:02:00.001-07:00

April 1st.

Hate.

It.

As the queen of gullibility, I fall for every prank on that dreaded day. Even the few times I actually remember the date, a little bit of doubt still lingers when I read all the pregnancy announcements on Facebook. I mean, maybe, just maybe, someone could really be pregnant, right?

The truth is, I've spent many a session at my shrink's office trying to come to terms with a cruel April fool's joke from my childhood. The memory alone sends shivers down my spine.

It was the morning of 5th grade science camp and my little 11-year-old self could hardly handle the anticipation. And of course, in all my excitement that morning, I somehow forgot it was April 1st.

But guess who didn't? That's right-- the two people a child should be able to trust more than anyone else in the world: my parents.

You should have seen their evil, menacing faces as they cruelly informed me that science camp had been canceled due to bad weather. However, it would be too painful to have seen my sweet, innocent face melt into utter destitution.

I cried. And yet they still kept a straight face. Who does that???

I'll tell you who-- those same two people, who 9 years later, have somehow kept those hearts of stone beating (if they have hearts at all).

This time, it was an email from South Africa saying they had been asked to extend their mission again-- 6 more months!

I was so mad! I yelled at my kids. I might have even cried a little. Sent a few angry texts. One was to Jonathan who responded back, "April Fools?"

AHH!!! How could I have fallen for that AGAIN???

Hate that day. Hate that day.

You wanna know who my first phone call was the next morning? My shrink's number is on speed dial.

Time Travel

2011-03-29T07:13:00.001-07:00

So it's supposed to get to 98 degrees or something this week, and I'm not talking about a Nick Lachey reunion or anything. So in anticipation of Hades-like heat, I thought I'd treat you all to a trip down memory lane...when temperatures were a bit cooler.

December (yes, I realize that was almost 4 months ago) was an eventful month for us.

My parents' arrival from South Africa after 18 long months away

School concerts with serious and not so serious faces

And of course, the big day

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end: Christmas is over, my parents have gone back to South Africa, and boy bands will probably never make a comeback.

Proof

2011-03-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

Here's proof that we're still alive.

The smallest, most law abiding of us, at least.

November's Jam-Packed Fun

2011-01-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

Apparently November was a little scarce in the picture taking department. Thanksgiving came and went with no pictures as proof. I promise I am full of thanks... guess you'll just have to take my word for it.

November did, however, mark the beginning of cooler temperatures and the breaking out of the winter clothes, including my favorite footsie pajamas.

It also marked our first family hike. Which, I might add, was fairly successful. No one fell off any cliffs and there was only one cactus-in-the-foot episode. Score!

And last but not least, November was full of plenty of bedhead mornings and eye rollings.

I'm sure you'll agree, it's gonna be hard to top this year's November.

A Little October for Your January

2011-01-03T07:02:00.002-07:00

So my pictures finally uploaded (!) and as I was looking through them I realized a few events within the last 4 months failed to make their World Wide Web debut.

***For instance, the celebration of the birth of my oldest son. Horrible, horrible mother! Now you all know, so when the ballots for Mother of the Year come around, remember who not to vote for.

Unless you need more reasons to not vote for me, please pay no attention to the Christmas wrapping paper, the store-bought brownie attempting to pass off as a birthday cake, or the votive candle attempting to mask the fact that I realized we didn't have any birthday candles right before a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday to You" was about to begin.

***The ever-important pumpkin carving night.

Not sure if you noticed, but I'm more of the historian of this event than an actual participant. Pumpkin guts, ew.

***The annual trek to Schnepf Farms where we come away a lot poorer than we were before heading out on said trek.

FYI, if you wait to take the family picture until the very end of a very long day, your 5-year-old may or may not be as happy as ours.

Alright, I think that pretty much gets us caught up through October. November and December, I'm afraid, will have to wait another day.

P.S. Happy New Year!

Sister Susie Sitting on a Thistle

2010-12-29T07:08:00.000-07:00

Obviously blogging has not been a top priority in all my spare time since school ended. In fact, I haven't done any of the things I'd planned to do (well except maybe taking a nap).

I had a really good excuse, though. What was it again? Oh yeah, Christmas.

But unfortunately my plans for posting a super, awesome Christmas post today were thwarted by my not-so super camera and/or computer. It's a glass half empty kinda day, so I'm blaming the camera AND the computer. Darn technology.

However, just like all good plays (and blog updates) there's an understudy waiting in the wings. Although not quite as good as a Christmas post, here is some pretty exciting news I forgot to share with you a couple months back.

And while it was fun singing "All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth" all season long, the fun ended abruptly for the poor kid when he got his first lesson in the school of hard knocks Christmas morning.

Corn on the cob will have to wait another day.

Mostly Because I'm Sick of Looking at Elton's Ugly Face

2010-12-16T12:39:00.001-07:00

But also because I just finished my last final!!!! No more school (for awhile anyway)!!!!

WAHOO!!!

I don't have a picture or video of me doing a happy dance, so you're just going to have to use your imagination.

Now maybe I can actually update the blog. Or maybe I'll even read some books. Or watch some TV. Or take a nap!

But probably I'll enjoy my family for a while.

Not to Brag or Anything Part 2

2010-11-16T07:04:00.000-07:00

I really do hate to brag all the time, but this is my blog and I'll brag if I want to.

See, if you were as cool as me, you would have a friend invite you to an awesome concert featuring this up and coming artist:

And if you were really lucky (like me, of course) you would have gotten to see this guy too:

And just so you believe that I was really there, here are Ashley and I with our tickets as proof:

We were quite the anomalies that night. I'm pretty sure we were the only sober, heterosexual people under 45 around.

What a blast, though. Seriously-- I can't remember the last time I laughed so much.

Sorry you couldn't come.

P.S. The weather's still great.

Not to Brag or Anything

2010-11-08T07:13:00.000-07:00

Monday: 79°

Tuesday: 73°

Wednesday: 74°

Thursday: 70°

Friday: 71°

Saturday: 74°

What Might Have Been

2010-11-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

It's no fun when your kids won't wear the Halloween costumes you pick out for them. I mean, when did Halloween become a kid's holiday anyway?

~~I would have~~...I mean, they totally would've won the costume contest if they'd have just listened to me. Don't you think they would've made the cutest Chipmunks?

But no. It's like they're real people and they have their own opinions or something. Weird, I know.

That's alright. I'll keep my little Star Wars guys and barefoot dinosaur/dragon thingy.

(next year that prize is mine!)

Alive

2010-10-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm still alive.

But just barely.

This school thing is kicking my trash.

Until I can get around to a real post, here's a little somethin' to remember me by:

Quick

2010-09-09T07:20:00.001-07:00

No time to blog.
Must study.
2-year-old thinks sociology textbooks are fun.

False advertisement.

Low Self-Esteem?

2010-08-31T07:05:00.001-07:00

Just be glad your kid didn't say this to you--

Ian: Mom, your breath stinks.

Me: What does it smell like?

Ian: a swamp

Nice.

Then the next day after I came home from the pool, Ian and his super nose were at it again--

Ian: Mom, why do you smell ridiculous?

I didn't even know how to answer that one. Does chlorine smell ridiculous to anyone else?

Edumacated

2010-08-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I've survived 4 whole days at my local community college. I'm afraid, though, that my IQ has suffered as a result of those 4 days.

I am definitely not surrounded by the cream of the crop over there, if you know what I mean. I think I wore more clothes than anyone in my classes, had the least number of tattoos and piercings, and I'm sure I was the only one not wearing the popular cigarette-infused perfume.

So, in an attempt to reverse the mind numbing effect of that lovely educational institution, let's do a little learning of our own. Here is a mathematical equation about the goings on at the Fish household.

Only in a house full of boys...

Class dismissed.

School's in Session

2010-08-23T07:08:00.002-07:00

What do you get when you cross a minivan with a community college?

Me!

Today is my first day of school in over 8 years. 8 years is a long time!

Things have sure changed in those 8 years....

No new school outfit was laid out the night before. I might get a shower before class, if I'm lucky.

No fun lunch was made the night before with a cute note from my mom. Instead, I made my kids' lunches and I'll probably eat an apple on the way to school, if I'm lucky.

I won't be meeting up with my friends after class to hangout. I'll be rushing to pick up my kids from school and make sure they get their homework done and get dinner on the table, if they're lucky.

Personally, I kinda like this way of things anyway. And, I'm really excited to be going back to school. I'm only taking two classes, but this way it won't interfere with my mom time. Carter will be napping while I'm away and I'll be done in time to be home when Ashton and Ian get home.

I just hope those teenagers don't laugh at me when I drive up to the college in my minivan. I know-- I'll just roll down my windows and blare a little Miley Cyrus. That way they'll know I'm legit.

The Summer is Officially Over

2010-08-16T07:08:00.001-07:00

Today starts our first full week of school, and I'm not sure I can handle it. 6 hours is just too long for my boys to be away from me!

I mean, who would want to be away from these faces?

After we took the traditional first day of school picture, it was off to school for my little Kindergartner and not-so-little 1st grader.

Poor Ian, though, had a rude awakening that first day. His teacher told me he did fine in the morning, but by the afternoon he was done. She would ask him to do things and he would just tell her no. Apparently he even told her she wasn't the boss of him!

I was mortified when she told me. I felt like I was the one getting in trouble and worried that we had made the wrong decision to put him in all-day Kindergarten.

Well, we had a long talk and that's when I realized I hadn't prepared him properly for what to expect. He said he wanted to go back to preschool because there aren't toys or games at Kindergarten.

And when I told him that his teacher was, in fact, in charge of him-- it was like a light bulb went off in his head and that was a whole new concept for him.

After being told all the horrible consequences that would befall him if his teacher told me he acted that way again, I sent him to school the next day. I was a nervous wreck.

But luckily, he got a good report from his teacher and I could breathe again, until the next school day...and the next, and the next.

Man, this school thing is tough! It's going to give me an ulcer!

But luckily, I've got this one to keep me busy while his brothers are away.

A Letter

2010-08-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

My Dearest Cori Bori,

What a lovely conversation we had yesterday! It was soooo good to talk with you, and I do hope you are heeding my advice and are leaving those chickens alone! Poor things.

And, If I'm not mistaken (which, as you know, is a rare occurrence), I might have promised you something in haste during our wonderful conversation. Because, if I had taken the time to think through the logistics of that promise, I would have realized just how utterly impossible it would be.

I'm sorry, but there was absolutely no way I could write that blog post last night, like I promised. I simply had too much to do.

See, I thought about writing a witty take on the boys' first day of school, but then I tripped on their toys all over the living room floor and figured I should probably do some cleaning instead. Do you want my children living in filth? I didn't think so.

Then later I was going to write a hilarious post about how I was sick in bed for a week with the flu and strep throat, but then Project Runway, one of my favorite shows came on, and you guessed it-- I just had to watch it. Would you deprive a girl her one pleasure in life? I mean, I would never dream of turning off the TV when you are watching Yo Gabba Gabba. Remember: don't bite your friends.

That's when I got really serious about writing a post for you. It was going to be all about Carter and how cute he is, and how much he's talking, and all the adorable things he's been doing. But then I remembered I needed to make the boys' lunches for school. I mean, you wouldn't want them to starve, would you?

I even sat down to write about my spa-like experience at the dentist yesterday, where I was lucky enough to enjoy a relaxing and soothing root canal. But by that point, it was past my bed time. You don't want my health to suffer from lack of sleep, right?

In conclusion, I am totally and completely and utterly sorry for not posting an awesome blog post like I promised. How can I ever make it up to you? Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

Sincerely,
Your Favorite Awesome Aunt

P.S. Have a great summer. K.I.T. Stay sweet.

A Couple Things I Learned over My Summer Vacation

2010-08-02T07:31:00.000-07:00

***It doesn't take a lot to impress my kids. Book a night at a local hotel and call it a vacation! Apparently a sofa bed and a hotel pool are all you need.

(and some cute boys in their pj's )

***I also learned it doesn't take a lot to impress me. Take me to a kiddie movie and it'll be the highlight of my summer. Seriously.

(have you seen it? hilarious. loved it.)

***2 cavities and a root canal later, one painful lesson I learned is it's not a good idea to wait years between dentist visits.

(look at that nice set of teeth...bet she regularly visits her dentist)

***And possibly the most important thing I learned is to not put Carter's pants in Ian's dresser.

(and to never misplace his tennis shoes again either)

All in all, I'd say this was one very educational summer.

The 4th of July Post You've All Been Waiting For

2010-07-19T07:37:00.001-07:00

Nothin' says
Happy Birthday America!
like....

atv accidents

dirty 2-year-olds

exhausted 5-year-olds

cheese balls

and being asked every 15 seconds, "Is this the finale?"

The End.
(and yes, this is the finale)

Got a Problem that Needs Solving?

2010-07-09T07:24:00.001-07:00

These three are here to save the day.

Missed Me?

2010-07-01T07:14:00.001-07:00

So apparently summer vacation for me really means a blogging vacation...and a picture-taking vacation...and an any-semblance-of-a-schedule vacation.

I'm not even quite sure where the month of June went. Oh yeah, I remember where it went-- it went swimming at the pool, exercising at the gym, renovating in the kitchen, more renovating in the kitchen, reading decorating blogs on the computer, spending time with family, watching movies, reading books, throwing a killer party, and basically everywhere but here. Did I mention we did a little renovating?

My goal for July, however, is to stop and just enjoy my boys. I hate that I let the day-to-day stuff get in the way of really spending quality time with them. Any tips on how to slow down and smell the roses, so to speak?

And what sweet roses they are.

Playing Catch Up

2010-06-04T07:09:00.001-07:00

We are now a week into summer vacation, meaning the school year is officially over for my little kindergartener and preschooler. And with the temperatures rising and all the end of the school year festivities, I'm a little worn out.

I loved Ian's preschool this year. However, I didn't love the 35 minutes we had to kill between the time I dropped Ashton off at school and the time Ian's school started. I also didn't love all those 4-year-old girls throwing themselves at my boy.

What I will miss are all the fun projects and activities he got to do. Like the Mother's Day tea party.

And the concerts (love the hand motions).

Now, I've never really seen the point of preschool graduations, but this is one dang cute preschool graduate. So proud.

Ashton loved school this year and is reading like a madman. He was pretty sad on the last day of school, which just about brought a tear to this proud mother's eye.

And just like Ian, Ashton had an end of the year concert. Can you spot him? He's the tall one in the back row. I think he just might be the tallest in his grade.

Love those hand motions!

But can you please tell me how to get him to smile naturally for a picture?!

Now I've got a few months with all three boys at home before it's just Carter. What will I do with only one at home all day?

In the meantime, if you need to get a hold of us, check the local junior high pool.

Name Shame

2010-05-31T07:16:00.001-07:00

I don't know what it is about my name. People love to write songs about it-- Frankie Valli and Steve Perry, to name a few.

I guess it's just too easy to rhyme with.

When I was in 4th or 5th grade, some kids in my class made up a song for me. You pick the tune, but the lyrics went a little something like this, "Take off the 'S' in Sherry. Take off the 'H' in Harms. If you do what I tell you, you'll have Herry Arms!"

Ha ha. So funny. Thankfully, I didn't actually have hairy arms, or I could've really gotten a complex. Kids.

Yesterday at church we sang a hymn called "Carry On." And lucky for me, carry is one of the many words that rhymes with Sherry.

It was always my family's little joke growing up to sing the chorus really loudly, "Sherry on, Sherry on, Sherry on!"

I don't remember the last time I cried so much during a song as I did yesterday during "Carry On." It was kinda embarrassing.

I MISS MY PARENTS!!!

Aren't they cute?

Not sure how many of you know this, but they have been asked to extend their mission in South Africa for another year. December 2011 is sooooo far away. Boo hoo.

Guess I'll have to just Sherry...errr...Carry On.

When the Scissors Go Missing

2010-05-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

Life's full of surprises. And motherhood's no different.

One thing that hasn't surprised me, however, is my kids' obsession with these babies.

When the scissors go missing at my house, I'm not gonna lie-- I get a little nervous.

Luckily, (knock on wood) no one has given himself a "fun" haircut or given one to his brother. No major damage done.

And since we're talking about a house full of boys with not a single Barbie or doll in sight, I thought I would be safe from finding remnants of "salon makeovers" when the scissors go missing.

But then I realized I forgot about the Christmas nutcracker.

Really Random Ramblings

2010-05-20T07:08:00.002-07:00

So I've recently discovered something about myself. Apparently my blogging abilities have an unhealthy codependency on my camera cord. With my camera cord out of commission the last couple weeks, my blogging's been unwittingly out of commission too.

Never fear (because I'm sure you were...fearing). I was finally able to upload some pictures yesterday. And voilá -- a post today! Now, that doesn't guarantee a great post. Just a post.

Don't you love reading a post about the writing of a post? I do. It's almost as good as writing a post about writing a post.

Do you ever read a word (like post, for instance) so many times that it starts looking weird and you have to double check that that's really how you spell that word, even though you've been reading/writing that word ever since you could read/write?

Obviously a ton has been going on since we last convened.

Actually, I have been pretty busy. I just don't feel like writing about it now...I'll save that for the next post (gotta keep ya coming back for more somehow).

For now, here's a little gem of a pic I took today. Ian and Carter built this "pillow house" while Ashton was at school.

These two were playing so nicely together that I started questioning my decision to put Ian in all-day kindergarten next year.

...but they can still play just as nicely together after all-day kindergarten, right?

A Sublime Rhyme on Your Dime

2010-05-10T07:14:00.001-07:00

I'm sure you're all sick and tired of my constant bragging about my children. I would be if I were you, but I'd understand. Because if I were you, I'd realize just how awesome they really are.

But, I figured I'd give you all a break today and brag on someone else for a change: me! I bet you didn't know this about me, but I've got some mad rhyming skills.

I put them mad skills to good use yesterday and wrote my mom the best Mother's Day poem EVER. And out of the kindness of my heart, I will share it with you now. You're welcome.

But, I'm gonna have to warn you: you're all going to feel a little sad that you didn't get such an awesome poem for Mother's Day. Sorry.

Of all the fish in the sea

Or leaves in a tree

Or dogs full of fleas

Or spellers in a bee

Or rednecks of Tennessee

Or bones in your knee

Or cherries in a jubilee

Or scratches on a CD…

All the world would agree

You don’t need a degree

To know with certainty

That none can compare with thee!

Happy Mother’s Day

Dontcha

2010-05-06T07:18:00.002-07:00

Dontcha wish you loved something as much as this kid loves his blankie?

Channeling my Inner Fraulein Maria

2010-05-03T07:16:00.002-07:00

{A Few of My Favorite Things}

Okay they're not brown paper packages or raindrops on roses, but they did help brighten up my Sunday.

Have you tried it? Soooooo good. I couldn't find any for a while after lunch and I was going through major withdrawals. Don't worry-- I found it, and all was again right with the world.

I've never gotten into this show before or even the regular Apprentice. But it's great television! I mean, I don't know what's better: the Trump comb over or the unstable state of Cyndi Lauper's mental health.

Oh, and these guys are pretty good too.

Happy Weekend

2010-04-30T07:11:00.001-07:00

Bragging Rights

2010-04-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

So my last post was awesome, huh? Are we still friends?

It's been a while since I've had that many comments, so I thought I'd write another controversial post. Let's talk Arizona's new immigration law....

No?

How 'bout a really good brag session? Those are always fun.

Ian drew this picture for his friend Layne. Can you tell what it is? Of course you can-- it's 2 football players. He's so promising, I know.

Speaking of talent, I think Ashton's going to be a writer when he grows up. Here's proof-- an email he sent to my parents in South Africa:
dear grandma and papa
i wont to no how big elufints are.
dear ashton
i lov you

And I can't forget my youngest. He is amazing. Just look.

He can roll his tongue! And Ashton can make a kissy face. My kids are awesome.

No Offense, Stephenie

2010-04-23T07:35:00.002-07:00

There's something wrong with me. That's the only possible explanation.

For the past several weeks I've been reading a book I don't like. Each night I put it down in frustration. And then I pick it up the next night to read, just so I can put it down once again in frustration.

What is wrong with me?

And then last night I realized I didn't like the movie I rented within 10 minutes of pushing play on my remote. Each time the main character spoke or came on the screen I would cringe. And yet I watched all 2 hours of that darn movie.

What is wrong with me?

I've come to the conclusion that only a mathematical equation can help my predicament.

Oh, that's what's wrong with me.

Plus, I've realized that I will never be a member of the Stephenie Meyer fan club. And I'm sure now I'll never have any kind of fan club of my own. Just don't send me hate mail, okay?

However, if you do have something mean to say, just make sure you put a "no offense, but..." in front and then write a blog post about it.

Fun and Games

2010-04-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

So I'm sure you're all wondering what my excuse is for not writing the last couple days. I'm always good for an excuse, just ask me.

The sad thing is, this time I don't really have an excuse. I've been trying to think of something exciting to write about to spice up the ol' blog, and I think I've finally come up with something pretty awesome.

It's a new feature for my blog called "Guess What We Had For Dinner." Each week I'll post a picture of Carter in his high chair and you have to guess what we ate that night. Doesn't that sound like so much fun?

Okay, here ya go. Guess what we had for dinner.

Stumped? Hmm...maybe I should change the game a little bit.

How 'bout we play "Guess The Injury." Each week I'll post a picture of Carter in his high chair and you have to figure out how he hurt himself that day.

Okay, here ya go. Guess the injury.

Bonus points if you can also guess what we had for dinner.

Triple points if you come over and wipe his nose.

Daddy-O

2010-04-09T07:06:00.001-07:00

They say a picture speaks a thousand words,
so I'm gonna go ahead and let these do their thing.

Aren't my kids the luckiest grandkids on the planet? And I'm definitely the luckiest daughter.

Happy birthday, Dad! Can't wait to be together for your next birthday.
I love you.

Cheese

2010-04-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

Definitely a face only a mother could love.

Playing the Glad Game

2010-04-05T07:04:00.001-07:00

I'm so glad last week is over.

I'm so glad I don't have to drive to Holbrook, go on a school field trip, or be in charge of cub scouts and a ward party this week.

I'm so glad I had time to pose for the paparazzi at the ward party.

I'm so glad headband girl is in this picture to draw your attention away from the string of snot hanging down someone's nose.

I'm so glad for haircuts and happy Easter basket recipients.

I'm so glad Ashton wore his Sunday best for the Easter pictures.

I'm so glad Ian's preschool does fun crafts and activities so I don't have to.

And, I'm so glad for the real reason of Easter.

Today's the Big Day

2010-03-26T07:14:00.001-07:00

It's my half-birthday!

Are you as excited about it as he is?

According to Wikipedia, "A half-birthday is a day six months before or after the real anniversary of a person's birth. Most half-birthdays go unremarked, but they may still be celebrated as a special day. Perhaps the most common use is by people whose birthday falls near holidays that are so widely celebrated they can overwhelm private anniversaries. People attending school sometimes celebrate half-birthdays if their real birthdays do not occur during the school year, so they can celebrate with friends and teachers at school."

Thank you Wiki for that great advice. I think I will celebrate this special day.

I mean, September 26th does fall near a huge holiday and all. This year it's Good Neighbor Day and Johnny Appleseed's birthday. How can anyone compete with those two?

And according to Michael Scott, “Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.”

Thank you Mr. Scott. I think I'm really going to celebrate this special day.

Testing Your Knowledge

2010-03-22T07:11:00.001-07:00

Did you know that 2 birthdays within 2 days is a lot of birthdays?

Did you know that if your 6-year-old chooses to go to Bounce U for his birthday,
you'll have to go there again 6 months later for your 5-year-old's birthday?

Did you know that it helps improve your air hockey game to stick out your tongue?

Did you know that if you ask little boys to pose
while wearing boxing masks, this is what you get?

Did you know that it's really hard to take a decent picture with three squirmy boys?

Did you know that if your 5-year-old asks for a Batman cake,
you can just put a Batman candle holder on a cake and call it good?

Did you know that all you have to do to make your kids think
you're awesome is to get them a basketball and some candy?

Did you know that your 6-year-old will look ridiculous in pictures if you don't tell
him to wash the chocolate off his face before the present opening begins?

Did you know that I love my three squirmy boys?

They're Always After Me Lucky Charms!

2010-03-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

They say everyone's Irish today.

So Happy St. Patty's Day from one leprechaun to another!

Since We Last Spoke

2010-03-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

Here's a sampling of what's been going on since we last spoke:

*** The tie fundraiser was a success! Except, the success didn't make its way to my house-- I made the mistake of letting Ashton and Ian pick out their favorite tie. I hate both their choices. I mean, it's like a 6-year-old and 4-year-old picked them out!

*** I've been feeling really bad about myself because my favorite dress from the Academy Awards has been on every "worst dressed" list. So maybe Ashton and Ian's tie choices aren't ugly to anyone but me. But how could anyone think this dress is ugly? I love it. Put some sleeves on, and I'm wearing it to church next Sunday!

*** I got this really great anonymous comment a couple days ago: "I really like when people are expressing their opinion and thought. So I like the way you are writing" Great comment, huh? It made me feel a little better after my confidence-dashing dress choice. Thank you Spammer.

*** I went to Prescott this weekend with some friends, and I had a full-on "Gilmore Girls" moment (That was one of my favorite TV shows once upon a time. Don't knock it-- it's my brother-in-law's favorite too). We went to a little concert held at my friend Meegan's sister's clothing boutique, Livy Lou's. I felt just like I was in Stars Hollow...minus Miss Patty and Luke, of course. And I felt a little like Where's Waldo (keep looking, you'll find me).

*** Carter's been acclimating to a one-handed existence. Baths are a different story.

Luckily he gets the cast off tomorrow. I think I might be a little sad to see it go-- doesn't it just make him that much cuter?...and smellier.

Well, that just about sums up the last week or so. To Anonymous: I hope you like how I expressed my opinion and thought this time around, 'cause here's proof that I'm not just a one-hit wonder!

A Raising of Funds

2010-03-09T07:09:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I'm up to my ears in boys. They are three cute ones, but up to my ears nonetheless.

And luckily I work with the Cub Scouts at church: more boys...yay! And once a week I'm reminded to be thankful for my own sweet boys as I send those little 9-year-old's home to their thankful mothers.

But my pain is your gain! See, Cub Scouts do fundraisers, and tomorrow we're doing a really fun fundraiser to raise funds in a fun way. Get it?

I copied and pasted an email I got with all the details:

'Just wanted to let you know that The Matching Tie Guy (www.thematchingtieguy.com) is teaming up with Boy Scout Troop 238 for a one day fundraiser. This Wed. March 10th, we will be selling ties for only $10 (plus AZ sales tax...bummer...but the law!). And 5 dollars, YES 5 DOLLARS from EACH TIE SOLD will be going to the cub scouts. That's not, ..."Buy 6 ties and we will donate $5." That's "Buy 6 ties, and we will donate $5 from each tie!" So come to the church building [or email me and I'll do the dirty work for you] to order your ties on Wed. March 10th, from 4-6. The church building is on Hawes Road Between Baseline and Guadalupe. (There is also a building less than a mile away on Hawes between Guadalupe and Elliott so don't get confused!)
Remember, only on that day will the ties be sold at that price, with half being donated to the scouts, and SORRY! But you have to come to the church to order [or email me and I'll do the dirty work for you], internet sales on this day do not receive the discount. The Scouts will deliver the ties within the next week if you live within a reasonable distance, or we will mail them out or meet you with them!
Come out and support a good cause, just in time for Easter.
PS- I know many of you are not into being Matchy-Matchy! That's no problem! Remember that with 55 styles to choose from, you can get awesome, well made, UNMATCHING ties for all the boys in your family!'

And since I've used every other form of propaganda, here is one last shameless plug.

You should buy some ties, 'cause then your boys could look almost as cute as mine.

Life Lessons

2010-03-02T07:00:00.002-07:00

I've often thought that life is all about the lessons we learn and the things we learn about ourselves while we trudge through those lessons.

I learned something about myself a few weeks ago. Life Lesson #3487: I hate roller coasters.

I never knew that about myself til I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain with my two older sisters.

We stayed in a fun hotel , went swimming in the hot tub, worked out at the hotel gym, ate some yummy food, and did a little shopping. It was a blast and I had a great time feeling fun and fancy free.....that is until we went to the aforementioned amusement park. Who came up with that name anyway? Amusement park, psh. I don't know who was being amused-- I sure wasn't.

Tell me, does this look like fun to any of you?

This little doozy of a ride is called Tatsu. I think it's Japanese for dragon. Meaning, a dragon would be a safer bet than this ride.

I just don't enjoy feeling like I'm going to die. Which is how I felt through this whole ride. "Ride" is the wrong word, more like "3 minutes of pure torture."

What happened to the normal roller coasters where you sit in a normal seat, strapped in all nice and cozy? Now we have to free fall to our death?

Like on this "ride" called X2. I'm still not sure what X2 means. Maybe that you'd have to be Xtra stupid to ride this 2 times.

All I can say is, Dumbo Ride anyone?

Meaning, you'd be dumb to not want to ride this a million times.

Ahh, Disneyland. Don't worry you're still #1 in my book (Life Lesson #3488).

A Few Words of Warning for All You 2-Year-Old's out There

2010-02-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

1). This is what you might look like if you try to climb out of your crib (or playpen..don't judge) before your mom comes to get you in the morning.

2). Go ahead and let your mom take you to the Emergency Room with only a diaper on. That way you can take home an awesome new hospital gown and add it to your wardrobe.

3). Although you might think breaking an elbow (who knew you could break your elbow?) fun, it does have its disadvantages.

4). Definitely make sure you fight for the black cast, because we all know black is tough. You might want to think about pairing it with a red wrist band.

5). Your mom and dad don't want you to know this, but you will look pretty darn cute in a cast-- but don't get any crazy ideas or anything.

Now get off the computer so your mom can leave me a really nice comment!

A Blogger's WebMD

2010-02-22T07:50:00.001-07:00

Ailment: Lack of Blogging

Cause: Life

Possible Symptoms: a sisters getaway to California, a bout with the cold/flu bug, a day in the ER with an almost 2-year-old, caring for said almost 2-year-old's broken elbow, death of a grandmother, trip to New Mexico for a funeral, reading of a good book, a visitor from Tucson, a spontaneous Prescott trip, the Olympics, Masterpiece Theater, laundry, cleaning, caring of 3 children, and a little sleep thrown in there somewhere.

Treatment: Promise of posts to come.

Heartbreaker

2010-02-11T07:14:00.002-07:00

Today is Ian's preschool Valentine's Party. I'm a little worried.

A few months back, one of the other moms stopped and asked if I was Ian's mom. I answered in the affirmative-- albeit, a little nervous but figured I better claim him.

She said her little girl Sasha (name has been changed to protect the not-so innocent) had a major crush on Ian. This came as no surprise to me, I mean, what 4-year-old girl wouldn't love this face?

The mom said Sasha couldn't stop talking about him and how cute he was. And I guess Sasha's older brother got glasses and she told her mom, "You know who would look good in glasses, Mom? Ian would."

I thought that was pretty funny and got a good chuckle out of it until a couple months later, Ian's teacher asked if I could stay after class and talk to her about an "incident" involving Sasha.

Apparently there was a little Sleeping Beauty game going on...Ian taking the role of the sleeper and Sasha, the kissing wake-up call.

Who does that little girl think she is, making the moves on my sweet little boy?

I passed Sasha's mom on the way out and told her what the teacher had said. I guess Sasha had been saying for about a week that she was going to kiss Ian, even after being told repeatedly by her mom not to.

What? Premeditated even?! Girls these days!

She told her mom, "I'm definitely going to kiss Ian now, since he got a haircut." Ha! You better believe I'm going to think twice before cutting his locks again!

So you can see why I might be a little nervous today, right? What, with the love celebration going on his classroom and all. Ian did tell me he told Sasha he can't kiss any girls besides his mom until he's older, but I wouldn't put one past that girl.

My Matching Tie Boys

2010-02-08T07:22:00.001-07:00

Too bad you all don't go to church with me. You missed out on some pretty cute kids.

Aren't their ties great? My friend Ashley has the hook-ups.

You can check 'em out at www.thematchingtieguy.com

Although, I don't mean to lead any of you astray-- there's no guarantee your kids will look as cute as mine in the ties. Sorry, that's just the way it goes!

Confession Thursday

2010-02-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've got a few things I need to get off my chest. The guilt is killing me.

1). I have not seen Avatar. For reals-- I'm not lying. I think it's a James Cameron thing. I never saw Titanic either.

2). Last week was the first time since December 25th that my kitchen table has been cleared off and completely Lego-free. I was so shocked, I took a picture. See?

3). The other day I ate only No-Bake Cookies for lunch and dinner.

4). Sometimes I like to dress Carter in unmatched clothes, purely for my own entertainment. See?

Phew, I feel better. Thanks for letting me clear my conscience a little. Hopefully I didn't shock any of you too much and we can still be friends?

Looking out for You

2010-02-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

Just didn't want you forgetting what he looks like-- 'cause I'm nice like that.

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

2010-01-28T07:32:00.002-07:00

Something I've learned just recently is that South Africa is far away. It really is.

Like 9623 miles. But who's counting?

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. And I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I miss her (and my dad) a lot.

I am so proud of her, though, for going on a mission and sacrificing so much for what she truly believes. I just wish those South Africans knew how lucky they are.

And I mean, isn't she just so cute?

Oh, and my nephew Drew, too.

Happy Birthday, Mom! Thank you for being one of my best friends. I love you.

Exclamations

2010-01-26T07:30:00.002-07:00

Ian has come up with a couple of new ways to express his emotions lately. I laugh everytime I hear them come out of his mouth.

So, being the kind, loving, giving person that I am, I thought I'd share some of these expressions with all of you on the world wide web.

And just to add to your enjoyment, here are a few shots of him from back in the day.

"What in tarnations?!"

"Ahh...snickerdoodles!"

"What the crack?!"

P.S. My only guess is that he's getting these sayings from preschool, because I can guarantee he's not getting any of these from me. I should probably discourage the last one, but it's just so funny.

The Grateful Head

2010-01-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

Even vampires worry about bicycle safety.

Although they may be too cool to admit it.

Comment Perfection

2010-01-14T07:05:00.001-07:00

I think every blogger loves getting comments-- and I'm no exception. There's something about knowing someone actually cares about what you have to say, and that you're not talking to yourself all the time.

The other day I got the best comment ever. It was left anonymously. And I quote, "Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!"

Now besides a few grammatical errors, I'd call that Comment Perfection. I thought to myself, so true, so true. "Anonymous" really gets me as a blogger, you know? I felt so special. And you can bet I was totally going to "keep it up!"

Until my friend Kara said she got a funny spam comment on her blog and proceeded to quote word for word my precious anonymous comment. Word for word.

What?! How could this be? How could those creepy spammers mess with my heart like that?

Then a few days later I was stalking...I mean...reading a friend of a friend of a friend's blog (we're tight, okay?) and found my spam comment on her blog too! And I laughed to myself because the poor sap has no idea that "anonymous" is a player.

I don't think I'll tell her, though. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Believe me, I learned that the hard way.

A Christmas Post

2010-01-11T07:16:00.001-07:00

Ever heard of something called false advertisement? It's kinda like when you say you're going to post "the best Christmas post ever" and you end up just throwing something together at the last minute.

It's too much pressure, okay?

So without further ado, here is a Christmas post (notice the absence of the word best).

I was very sad to see December come and go so quickly. The boys and I had a lot of fun doing an advent calendar with different activities for each day in December.

One of the boys' favorite activities was decorating gingerbread houses.

Isn't Ian's face great? He was very proud of his house and wanted me to take a picture with this exact pose. I'll spare you a picture of the house I made...wouldn't want the boys feeling bad about theirs or anything.

And, I finally feel like a full-fledged Mom-- we survived our first school Christmas concert.

Isn't my camera awesome? I took this picture from the back row of a high school auditorium. Oh, and isn't my "little" kindergartener awesome too? He's the tall one in the back.

Not to keep bragging or anything (although what would a blog be without it, right?), but I bet you didn't get a South African face mask for Christmas, did you?

But, I bet you got to spend Christmas with your parents, so I guess you win.

Here are the boys' Christmas Eve pajamas.

I've decided it's really hard to take a decent picture of three wiggly boys. But don't they look like they love their new pjs?

Thankfully, Christmas morning lived up to all its hype.

The aftermath

Hours and hours of blissful entertainment

And my favorite part

The End

P.S. Merry Christmas

2010-01-05T07:36:00.001-07:00

Just didn't want you thinking I had forgotten about you, faithful readers. Or about that great holiday.

The best Christmas post ever is on its way-- I promise. Stay tuned.

A Masterpiece

2009-12-21T07:06:00.001-07:00

All is again right with the world!!! My long lost friend has returned from a dreadfully extended leave of absence. Last night the stage was set for our much anticipated, joyous reunion.

Time often has a funny way of bringing about awkwardness in an old friendship. One finds there is not much left to talk about after the obligatory small talk runs dry.

Not so last night. Things continued on as though time had stood still. And I wish it had, but unfortunately, our two hour visit had to end promptly at 11 o'clock.

But please don't despair-- next week will bring another visit. So if you call next Sunday and I don't answer, you'll know why. I will be watching Masterpiece (classic) Theater and loving every minute of it.

Yesterday's visitor goes by the name of "Cranford" and I can't wait til next week to watch part 2. It does make me miss my mom, though. She is my favorite Masterpiece Theater watcher. I am currently taking applications for her temporary replacement.

From the Bottom of My Heart

2009-12-18T07:28:00.001-07:00

I cannot believe a week from today my house will be a covered in haphazardly thrown wrapping paper, boxes, and bows. Maybe it seems hard to believe because I haven't bought a single Christmas present yet.

Gasp! Yes, you read that right.

I know many of you finished your Christmas shopping in July or something crazy like that. All I can say is you must not have little boys whose minds change every other day about what they want for Christmas.

Ashton asked for a cell phone a few days ago. What? I told him Santa was NOT going to give him a cell phone. Ian topped that the next day when he said he was going to ask Santa for a motorcycle. What? Guess I shouldn't have shot down the phone so quickly-- at least that's legal.

When the boys aren't updating their lists for Santa, they are having a lively debate about Christmas music. Everyday we have a discussion about which is their #1 favorite, #2 favorite, and #3 favorite.

FYI: Ashton's #1 favorite is "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" and Ian's is "Feliz Navidad."

We were driving in the car the other day when Ian's #1 favorite came on the radio. We were singing along, feeling all warm and fuzzy with our awesome Spanish accents, when I heard Ian laughing in the backseat. And then I heard him tell Ashton, "Ha ha it said bottom."

Boys.

I don't think I can ever listen to that song the same anymore. I hope I've ruined it for you too! Misery loves company, you know.

And just because I can't post without a picture, here is Ashton rockin' around our Christmas tree.

In Your Face

2009-12-14T07:21:00.003-07:00

I present to you the face of independence.

When I went to wash some of the independence off his face,
he decided to take that newfound independence a little too far.

Baby It's Cold Outside

2009-12-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it doesn't take much to make my day. Yesterday it was finding a pair of pajamas deep inside a box of winter clothes.

Why You Should Always Read My Blog

2009-12-07T07:16:00.000-07:00

I am constantly learning new things as a mother, and my children are often my best teachers. Yesterday Ian taught me a couple life lessons that I thought were too important not to share.

***Why you should never go to bed with wet hair***
(Although, maybe you'd wake up looking as cute as he did.)

***Why you should never mess with Spiderman and a pirate at the same time***
(Doesn't Jennifer look terrified in the background? I know I was.)

Now, I hope you don't have to learn these lessons the hard way like I did. Sometimes being a mom can seem overwhelming, but that's why I love giving unsolicited advice whenever I can. Believe me, you'll thank me later.

Rewind

2009-11-30T07:10:00.000-07:00

In my haste to get my Christmas groove on, I completely omitted a national holiday. How very un-American of me, I know.

Thanksgiving's never been my favorite. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful and all that. But by the time Halloween rolls around, my bones start itching for Christmas to get here already!

I'm always up for a party, though, so we started celebrating Turkey Day early. Ian's preschool had a "Thankfulness Feast" and I think he would have made the cutest little Indian in all of Plymouth.

Each child added some food to the "feast" and stated what he/she was thankful for. Ian is thankful for his bed (a child after my own heart).

Then the boys and I colored some Pilgrim figures. And now you know the extent of my craftiness.

I definitely have many things to be thankful for, and these three boys are at the top of the list.

P.S. My craftiness is nowhere on the list.

While Visions of Sugar Cookies Danced in My Head

2009-11-23T07:30:00.001-07:00

It's official: Christmas is right around the corner! 99.9 KEZ told me so-- they're playing Christmas music now, and I love it.

This is my favorite time of year. It goes by way too fast, so I'm starting early-- yesterday, to be exact.

There's something about Sunday that brings on a hankering for cookies. Sugar cookies fit the bill this time around-- but not just any sugar cookies: Christmas sugar cookies! We made Christmas trees, Christmas hearts and Christmas circles. Alright, maybe the hearts and circles are a stretch, but I don't care...I love Christmas! And so do my boys.

See, they can't contain their excitement.

While they decorated their cookies (very excitedly, might I add), we listened to the Christmas music TV station.

And those look exactly like my cookies, by the way.

The night kept getting better, if that's even possible. I think I captured our Christmas card photo.

Merry Christmas! Love, The Fish Family

(Now don't be sad when there's no card in the mail, because this is all you're gettin'!)

What Blogging's All About

2009-11-18T07:06:00.001-07:00

I'm sure this is no news flash: my kids are cuter, smarter, better behaved, more talented (you get the idea) than your kids. Don't feel bad. They come by it naturally.

You don't believe me? Take a look for yourself.

See, I told ya.

But, now I've got to add another amazing quality to the list: better drawers. Meaning, my kids are better than your kids at drawing...not, my kids are better pieces of furniture than your kids. Which, if that were possible, would be true also.

You don't believe me? Take a look for yourself.

See, I told ya.

How-To Monday: Privacy

2009-11-16T07:15:00.000-07:00

Close the bathroom door to avoid any unwelcome visitors.

Lying in Shades of White

2009-11-13T07:00:00.001-07:00

Why no, my child does not still use a pacifier. Where would you get an idea like that?

And don't worry about clicking on the picture to enlarge it, because he also doesn't have snot on his nose or a scratch on his chin. What kind of mother do you think I am?

Meteorology My Way

2009-11-11T07:39:00.002-07:00

It was a frigid 92° yesterday.
Some of us wore hats to keep warm.

It's only supposed to get to 89° today.
Time to break out them parkas!

Happy Fall!

Current Events

2009-11-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to pick up Ian from preschool and found this little stray wandering around.

It made my day.

Can you guess how many pieces of Halloween candy I had to bribe him with so he'd pose for that picture? Unfortunately, I need someone to bribe me to stay out of said Halloween candy.

In other news...

I've been brushing up on some of my mad makeover skills.

Before

**Notice the unflattering food remnants on the face and
the completely unmanageable hairstyle.

After

**Just cut a few inches of hair, add a fashionable plaid collared shirt...and voilá!

So as not to leave the oldest out of this post,and I'm sure you've missed my mug as well....

Don't look too closely at the food on Ashton's face,
but I think I feel another makeover coming on!!

What Do Mario, a Vampire, and an Elephant All Have in Common?

2009-11-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

The answer: One tired (but happy) mother.

P.S. If you ask Ian, he was actually a grampire. And, I think he made a pretty cute grampire, if I do say so myself.

Use Your Imagination and Pretend This is a Catchy Title

2009-10-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

With Ashton and Ian being 17-months apart, life has been interesting...to say the least. I remember feeling completely overwhelmed for the first couple years of Ian's life.

But as the boys have gotten older, it has gotten easier. We still have our fair share of fighting and issues with sharing, but basically they play really well together.

The other day I was upstairs doing something (I'm sure I was cleaning and NOT checking my email or anything) and I could hear the boys playing downstairs. They soon got tired of whatever they were doing and moved on to something else.

I went downstairs to find the aftermath of their play.

(In case it's hard to tell, there are several stuffed animals stuck between the blinds on the window.)

This was a new one for me. Not quite sure what's goin' on here, but I'll chalk it up to great imaginations.

I don't know, maybe Mickey's getting a tan or something. Got any better ideas?

I Hate When I Accidentally Fall Asleep on the Stairs

2009-10-23T07:08:00.000-07:00

How-To Monday: Packing on the Pounds

2009-10-19T07:19:00.002-07:00

I know, I know. It's been awhile since I've done a How-To Monday...or even posted on a Monday, for that matter. What can I say? I like to keep you guessing.

But, I shall keep you guessing no longer. Here is a How-To on a subject we can all use help with, especially with the holidays fast approaching.

How to Gain 10 Pounds in Less Than 2 Days

1. Sit at home for 2 days.

2. When I say sit, I mean literally (in a perfect Rachel Zoe accent) sit on the couch for 48 hours.

(Oh, I forgot to mention the direct cause of steps 1 and 2)

3. Unknowingly expose your children to the flu (you know who you are). Then continue to sit on the couch with them for 2,880 minutes.

4. Offer every food item in the house to your three appetite suppressed children. And then proceed to eat every food item in the house all by yourself. I mean-- want not, waste not, right?

5. When one of your children miraculously makes a food request, bake it without question. Even if it is chocolate chip cookies. A miracle's a miracle, I always say.

6. Then go ahead and eat most of those miracle cookies...all by yourself.

I hope some of those tips helped. If I help even just one person, it makes everything worthwhile. You know, I'm just a giver in that sense.

And because I just need to give a little more, here are a couple of the moments captured during those 172,800 seconds.

He looks so happy eating that cookie, doesn't he?

Little does he know that in about 24 hours he's gonna look a little more like this.

I really hope this bug leaves our house soon. Because just like Ms. Zoe always says, "This is bananas!"

Hmmm...I wonder if we have any bananas around. I'm kinda hungry.

Raising Einstein

2009-10-15T07:13:00.002-07:00

My son's a genius.

The other day Ian asked me this very insightful question: "Do chickens have sharpey toes?"

Okay maybe not a genius, but definitely an awesome movie quoter. And isn't that better than having a genius in the family?

Come to think of it, he's never actually seen the movie. So genius it is!

(FYI Mom and Dad, the real quote is"Do chickens have large talons?")

And the Plot Thickens

2009-10-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the moment you've all been waiting for: drum roll please....Ashton's birthday blog! Yay!

You want in on a little secret? I tried posting this yesterday, but my computer was being too slow. And after being frustrated for far too long waiting for my pictures to upload, I decided the post could wait another day. But I had to post something, and there you have the makings of "Cliffhanger."

Genius? I meant to write that without the question mark...

Genius.

So without further adieu, here is the birthday boy in all his 6-year-old glory:

(Ashton loved the cake Jonathan made. I thought the broccoli trees were a nice touch.)

Later that night, I overheard Ashton tell his brother, "Having your birthday is awesome."

I'd have to agree. He got to choose just about everything we did that day, so of course it was awesome.

Especially the present part.

I know the day was all about him, but here are a few of my favorite moments.

(I love the attempted mean look on his face.)

(And the one on this face.)

(And these faces just melt my heart...or maybe the melt is from their sweaty heads, I don't know.)

All I know is, I love this 6-year-old kid. He was definitely worth the wait.

Just like this post, right?

Cliffhanger

2009-10-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was someone's birthday.

I'm not naming any names.

Tune in tomorrow for a complete run down of the day's events. You won't wanna miss it.

You on the edge of your seat yet? Good.

Twenty-nine

2009-10-02T07:35:00.001-07:00

I was at the gym a couple months back when a revelation came to me. What? Don't all your revelations happen at the gym? Well mine did, and it was pretty major.

I was on a stationary bike pedaling along trying to work up a sweat. I put my hands on the heart rate monitor sensor thing. Those things never seem to work for me. I'm like, "Yo, I know I have a heart beat. You can't tell me I'm not alive. I know I'm alive."

Anyway, while I was waiting for my heart rate to register on the machine, I thought I'd look at the trusty chart to see what my target rate would be, should the machine decide to acknowledge my existence on this earth.

The chart looked a little something like this:

So I start to look at the ages and I (of course) look at the 20. And then it hits me: I'm a whole lot closer to 30 than 20. What? When did that happen?

But I've since decided that being closer to 30 is both good and bad. Good, because that means I don't have to work as hard at the gym. And bad, because well...that means I'm almost 30...which is totally like a real adult. And when you're a real adult you can't use totally and like in the same sentence...which is like totally hard to do.

Last Saturday brought me officially one year closer to the dreaded 3-0. I've heard your dexterity diminishes somewhat after your 20's, so I had Ashton and Ian help me open my presents. We were all especially excited to open the package from my parents.

Here is Ashton proudly modeling the South African hat. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Please pardon the pained look on Ashton's face. I'm really not hurting him with a smile on my face. Apparently it's tough to enjoy your mom's birthday when yours is a whole week and a half away.

I wanted to tell him, "You think that's tough. Try almost being a real adult. Now that's tough."

Like, totally.

Precious Moments

2009-09-29T07:12:00.000-07:00

Like Mother, Like Son

2009-09-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

Monday I went to Ashton's school for Parent Teacher Conference. I'm not gonna lie, I was nervous. Just like I was for Meet the Teacher and his first day of school.

There's something about school that gets me all anxious. I still have nightmares about junior high where I realize about halfway through the semester that I haven't been going to a class I'm supposed to, or no matter how hard I try, I can never find one of my classrooms. I wake up in a panic and can't get back to sleep. It's horrible, let me tell you.

But with Ashton, I'm doubly nervous. I've got my own weird issues on top of being nervous for him.

I met with his teacher and she said some really good things about him. Of course, I mean, he's a great kid. And also (duh) because it's kindergarten and they are being graded on their pencil grip and if they can count to 20 and other important life skills.

One area, though, she said he could improve on. And that was being chatty with his friend Zach. I hear about Zach all the time! It's always, Zach this and Zach that. Ashton can't stop being chatty with me about Zach, how can I expect him to not be chatty with Zach?

But, I guess he comes by it naturally. I remember my parents coming home from similar Parent Teacher Conferences and talking with me about trying to be a little less social.

I remember learning the alphabet in sign language in 3rd grade and trying to talk to my friends from across the room. Or the time my dad had me determine my own punishment for talking too much in 4th grade and I gave myself a much harsher one than they would have ever dreamed of.

What's a mom to do?

Oh man. I hope I don't have a bad dream tonight about getting in trouble for talking at school. Because that would make me really nervous.

P.S. Don't worry-- I didn't stay mad at the kid for too long. I couldn't back when he was a little guy like this, and I still can't.

Miracle of Miracles

2009-09-17T07:18:00.001-07:00

So I walked outside yesterday to go mail a letter and was hit by a huge shock: I didn't do a Wicked Witch of the West and melt from the heat. I don't even think we reached triple digits. Hallelujah! Break out the parkas!

The boys and I were so excited, we got out the bikes and scooters and enjoyed the "cooler" 90° weather for a bit.

And apparently Ashton grew a little over the summer-- poor kid can barely steer with those knees knocking the handle bars.

But the news gets even better, because another miracle was witnessed. Carter finally wore shoes!

Such a proud fashion moment as a mother-- a onesie and crocs in the same outfit.

I was actually pleasantly surprised by how well he did with shoes on for the first time. It almost made his walk a little more graceful. And we all know every little bit helps...he still looks like he's had one too many, if you know what I mean.

Doesn't he look so big? He'll be 18 months on Sunday, which means he'll go to Nursery! Hallelujah! It's a good thing, too, because I think they were about to make me the leader of the unofficial hallway class at church.

2 miracles in one day? That's a good day in my book.

P.S. A 3rd miracle would have been if my children weren't in their pajamas in these pictures. But that's just asking too much.

My Gift to You

2009-09-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a little somethin' to help you beat those Monday Blues.

Didn't work?

How 'bout this?

P.S. You're welcome.

Mathematician

2009-09-10T07:05:00.000-07:00

P.S. I hope you remember that equation...there will be a quiz later.

A List in Pictures

2009-09-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

I know I've talked about the Glad Game before, but it really seems to come in handy when I'm feeling a little put-out by life. And sometimes I can feel quite put-out.

But Sunday afternoon was different. I was hit by a wave of gratitude for the simple things of life. And since that doesn't happen all too often, I thought it was pretty blog-worthy. So without further adieu, here is my official photog thankful list:

No, I'm not thankful for an ugly backyard. This was taken Saturday morning during one of the coolest storms we've had in quite some time. I actually had our doors open for a while-- it was that good. I love that it's September and I can see the light at the end of our long, hot tunnel of summer.

I love this kid. And, I love Sunday naps. I got one yesterday-- it was wonderful, thanks for asking. This kid's smile and bedhead are evidence of his 5 hour nap yesterday. I love 5 hour naps.

Ashton drew this picture for me. I love it. I love that he did it all on his own, even spelling Mommy correctly. I love that my kids call me Mommy.

I love that the "Y" is backwards. And I love that I'm "Mommy Fish." It's a picture of our house, in case you can't tell. I love that he made a pool in our backyard, which looks like it's in the sky. I love that kid.

When Ian saw how I reacted to Ashton's picture, he was quick to make something for me too. I love my spontaneous marker tower. I love that he actually let me take a picture of him. And I love that kid too.

***
I really do have a strong desire to hold onto moments like these. I know there will come a day when my house is empty and lonely and I will long for all those things that drive me crazy right now. It's just hard to remember that during the everyday hustle and bustle of life. I really wish I was better at it.

Pardon me while I go and enjoy the simple things with my kids today.

P.S. Happy Laboring.

Independence

2009-09-04T07:30:00.001-07:00

Last year Ashton attended a pre-kindergarten program through our local school district. He cried on the first day of school when I tried to drop him off, and proceeded to throw a fit for days on end.

He finally calmed down after we instituted (if you remember) the sticker chart, but it was still very important that I walked him to the playground everyday...all year long. I know it's because I'm such an awesome mom and he just wanted to be with me all the time. I mean, who wouldn't?

Fast forward one year...

Tuesday was Ian's first day of preschool. He was so cute and so excited to go. I'm such a great mom-- I even took the official first day of school picture for the kid. See, no middle child complex.

(he insisted on holding up the folder he got the previous day at meet the teacher
...and would not let me take off the teacher's welcome letter on the front)

When I dropped him off, he pushed me away and said, "Bye Mom." He then proceeded to walk into his classroom with not even a look back. Wait. What? That's not how it works.

All I know is it sure doesn't make a mom feel very loved. I think we may have to start a sticker chart to get him to show a little sadness when I leave him at preschool. Is that too much to ask?

P.S. It's a little weird having only one at home for a couple hours a day. Solitaire anyone?

Proud Moments

2009-09-01T07:24:00.002-07:00

You'd think that after my week and a half blog hiatus I'd come prepared with an eventful post. Sorry to disappoint, but you get what you get and you don't throw a fit! That's our family motto. It'll be engraved on my headstone...that and "flush the toilet and wash your hands."

But the week wasn't a total waste-- I'd officially call Walker a carter. Oh, you know what I mean. And here's proof (just so you know, he's still a little tipsy from a night of partying and he was in charge of dinner that night...oh, and onesies are very fashionable).

And in other fashion news, here's my style savvy son sporting all the latest trends in menswear.

Some days make it all worth it.

P.S. Happy September! For the last 29 years, it's been a very happy month for me.

Easy

2009-08-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's just easier to sit on the floor to eat your dinner.

And sometimes it's just easier to lay down and eat.

P.S. I know, I know. I swore this kid off the blog. Cut me some slack-- I mean, have you kept your New Year's Resolutions?

Are You Sitting Down for This?

2009-08-19T07:48:00.002-07:00

Attention!
Attention everyone!
I have a special announcement to make.

When this kid thinks I'm not looking, he walks across the room.

Did you catch that?...WALKS across the room!
Did you catch that?...walks ACROSS the room!

I told you to sit down for that.

I still wouldn't say he's "walking," but we're getting there.
Give us another month, and he'll walk himself into Nursery at church.

Hallelujah!

P.S. I hope I made at least one of you think I was pregnant with my title and announcement bit.
P.P.S. I'm not, by the way.

Party Like It's 1995

2009-08-17T07:06:00.002-07:00

My sister Heather and her kids are in town for awhile. That means it's a party 24/7, which is just like I like it.

At last night's ~~party~~ very calm Sunday gathering, somebody popped in an old home video from like 1995ish. The majority of the movie was shot in my parent's living room with my sister Jennifer and my niece Kimberly as the stars of the show.

But some of us had our cameos: me and my frizzy hair, big eyebrows, and braces; Heather and her pregnant self; and my parents looking just as cute as ever.

It got me all homesick for my mommy and daddy, though.

I think they're just as cute halfway across the world as in those family movies. But, life just isn't the same without them. Lucky South Africans.

P.S. This picture's just for you, Mom. Hope it puts a smile on your face. I love you guys.

Halves

2009-08-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

Well, we've just about survived our first week of school. Really it's more like the first half-week of school, which I guess could account for the high survival rate. And technically the half-week isn't over yet, so I'll keep you posted on that survival thing.

In the meantime, I'm sure you're all wondering what an official half-day kindergartener looks like, so here you go.

And I'm sure you're all wondering what I've been doing with those precious hours while my eldest is gettin' his education groove on. Well, I'm a go-getter, so of course I've taken a nap each day (true story) and done a little bit of this (true story):

Alright, maybe a lot bit. I'm only doing it for the kids, okay? They love to watch the cascade of cards when I win, which is like all the time. So, win-win, right? Right.

P.S. I bet if Ashton was in all-day kindergarten, I'd be able to get more done with my day. Why didn't we do all-day again? Never fear, he's on a waiting list to be an all-day-er. Think of all the Solitaire games I could play!

We Don't Need No Education

2009-08-10T07:29:00.001-07:00

Summer is officially over at our house. Ashton will start kindergarten on Wednesday and it's a little bittersweet for me.

He's a great kid and generally easy to have around. But, it will be nice to have a little less fighting and sibling rivalry for a few hours each day.

Our summer hasn't been fight-free, that's for sure. Being stuck in the house all day put us on edge at times.

Here are a few things that made the last three months bearable.

Lego Building

My boys can spend hours building those little things....until I have to put them up when they start fighting over Mr. Fee-Fee.

Movie Theater Visits

We'd turn our a/c up at home and then head to Harkins to let them cool us off for a couple of hours...and feed us dinner.

Coloring

...And More Coloring

Good thing crayon is washable. I learned this summer that it can be washed off the couch, the kitchen floor, the table, and clothes...just to name a few.

And Finally, Swimming
This was literally my life-saver during the triple-digit madness.

It tuckered out even our most resistant nap-takers.

And since we're all still alive and our air conditioner still works, I consider this summer a success! Next up, Christmas! I swear I saw Christmas decorations up at the store the other day.

P.S. I just realized I've got 2 days to make a comprehensive list of all the bad words Ashton knows so that when he comes home from school with a couple of doozies, I know exactly who to blame.

Bad to the Bone

2009-08-03T07:01:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine recently called me a silent rebel. I kinda like it-- has a nice ring to it.

Just to bring her point home, I am going to post a picture of that third child of mine.

Ha!!! Why does it feel so good to be so bad?

Pardon the disgusting shirt on that kid. I think I must have been feeling a little laundry rebellious that day too. Wouldn't surprise me. I feel that way most days.

P.S. I'm feeling extra wild today. I think I'll go eat some ice cream for breakfast or sit really close to the TV.

Reality Check

2009-07-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

I love the honesty of kids. I never have to wonder if my breath smells or if I have something in my teeth when I'm around them.

So it's quite the feat when my kids say I'm funny and actually laugh at my jokes.

Because more often than not, this is the reaction I get.

But never fear-- I got him the next time.

Oh wait...

He's hard to crack, okay?

Let me try again.

Ahh, there we go.

Now that's real.

P.S. I should get some bonus points for this post-- not even one reference/picture of that third child.

Confidence

2009-07-27T07:21:00.001-07:00

It takes a very confident person to go out in public looking like this.

It takes an even more confident mother to go out in public with a child looking like this.

Once again, I think the heat is making me do things I wouldn't normally do.

Like finally giving our neglected backyard some much needed attention...
on one of the hottest days of the year.

I know I swore off that kid on the blog-- sorry, couldn't help myself.

And can someone please tell me why this is called a bung wrench?

I really hate that word.

P.S. I think it takes a pretty confident blogger to write a post with the word bung in it. Don't you?

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

2009-07-23T07:17:00.002-07:00

I do hereby solemnly promise (I don't swear) to write a whole post that does not include a picture, a story, or any reference to my third child.

What third child?

I'm afraid if I don't take action soon, I'll have to change my blog title to Fairly What's His Name (you thought I was going to slip and use the "C" word, didn't you?).

Alright.

Here goes.

Almost there.

What should we talk about?

Hmm...

How 'bout them Cubs? I think it's their year.

No?

Let's try the weather...it's really, very, totally hot here.

...

{chirp, chirp}

HARRY POTTER!!!

Yeah, Harry Potter. That's it. So I saw Harry Potter today. It was okay. I loved the first two movies, not so much the recent ones. I think it's mostly the actor who plays Dumbledore. And plus, those kids were so cute in the first two movies. Why do kids have to grow up (not my kids of course...I'm not referencing anyone in particular, just kids in general)?

Man, this is harder than I thought it was going to be. Maybe I need to join some kind of Mommy Bloggers Anonymous.

But never fear, I always keep my promises. So....I better close.

The End.

P.S. I miss You-Know-Who.

The Camera Hates This Kid

2009-07-21T07:43:00.001-07:00

Carter officially turned 16 months yesterday. I'm never quite sure how to celebrate such landmarks and I really didn't feel like making a cake or anything, so we just pretended it was an ordinary day. I don't think Carter minded.

I'm not sure I would have even realized he passed the 16-month mark, except he still isn't walking. Yep, you read that right. STILL NOT WALKING!!

Somehow I feel like I've failed him as a mother. Because every good mother has children who pass developmental milestones on time, right?

A couple weeks ago we had someone from the state come and interview us. Carter scored a big fat 0 in gross motor skills. Mother of the Year.

So now we have a physical therapist coming next week to do a full evaluation...blah, blah, blah. Just get my kid to walk! Oh, and get him to actually crawl! I don't ask a lot.

He is really cute, though. They should have asked questions during our interview about his cuteness. I bet he would have scored a 100%, or even 110% or something. I would give him extra credit. Wouldn't you?

P.S. I bet if he had had a name when we left the hospital, he would be walking by now. Remember that? Oh, the guilt!

Summer Lovin'

2009-07-17T07:23:00.001-07:00

So the title of this post is my attempt at positive thinking. Because if I was being completely honest, I would have entitled this post Summer Hatin'.

People! It's going to be 112° today! And azcentral.com (my authority on local news) says it'll be 115° tomorrow. One.hundred.fifteen.

But that's alright, azcentral also said that Jessica Simpson is "sad, mad, and confused over the split." So am I, Honey. So am I.

So things could be worse. At least the city of Dallas hasn't blamed me for losing a professional football game.

And at least I have this cute kid to spend the sweltering heat with.

And these two too.

P.S. Take that Jess! And your Chicken of the Sea!

A Critique

2009-07-15T07:48:00.001-07:00

Nothing says true love, like "Race to Witch Mountain." At least that's what I always say. Jonathan and I celebrated 9 years of wedded bliss with about a thousand preteens at the Picture Show at Superstition Springs Mall on Tuesday.

I knew I'd eventually see "Race," but I wanted to see the original first. After having seen both, I'm not sure which is my favorite-- both were entertaining in their own ways.

In "Escape to Witch Mountain" you've got the 1975 special effects, awesome (or not) acting, the creepy old man who helps them out, and a great soundtrack...to name a few. The 2009 version is definitely more action packed and The Rock does a pretty good job, but I was glad we didn't pay more than $1.

You better watch out, Roger Ebert. I think I've found my new calling in life.

Oh, and I think the newly renovated theater was pretty good. At least it didn't smell like urine anymore and I think my seat didn't even have one unidentified bodily fluid on it. I'd call that a success.

Maybe if my movie critiquing career doesn't take off, I'll go into the movie theater critiquing business. With the great demand of movie theater critique-ers out there, I know I'll always have job security.

P.S. Please forgive me. This post is pretty lame, I know. I'll try to step it up a notch (or 2) next time. And please feel free to send me a detailed critique on this awesome (or not) post.

Routines Shmootines

2009-07-13T07:21:00.002-07:00

Ashton was my first child. My guinea pig, if you will. In the midst of all my experimenting, I read just about every parenting book and took many a stranger's unsolicited advice.

Consequently, Ashton had a very predictable routine and very scheduled nap times.

I've become quite lax as the years have gone by. I lightened up a bit with Ian, but poor Carter never had a chance.

He gets carted around to all our various activities and naps come when they come.

Like in the middle of our kitchen floor.

Or at lunch.

And when he actually gets a real nap, it's still in one of these.

I like to call my parenting style laid-back, rather than lazy (which is probably more accurate). But there's never been a kid as loved as this third child (well, maybe the 1st and 2nd ones).

P.S. Do you think CPS peruses Blogger?

Holy Look-Alike, Batman!

2009-07-09T07:33:00.001-07:00

Everyone's always saying how much the boys look like Jonathan. It can make a girl feel a little left out. I mean, I birthed them and all.

But I kinda think Ian bears a slight resemblance to me.

He's tougher looking, but I think some of my DNA might be in there somewhere.

P.S. Can you tell we've been a little bored this summer?

Red, White, and Shampoo

2009-07-07T07:31:00.002-07:00

I'm not much of a camping girl. Only my undying love for the Mr. in my life could get me to sleep...or not sleep...in the woods...on the ground...in a tent...with my children. Oh, and maybe for those children of mine. And maybe for the company of the in-laws.

Alright, so a camping we went.

See that's proof, for all you Doubting Thomases out there.
And yes, that's even a smile on my face (shhh...don't tell anyone).

If you ask the boys what their favorite part was, they'll both give the same answer.

Riding on the motorcycle with Uncle Blaine.
Boys.

Go ahead and ask Jonathan the same question.

Boys.

I think this was probably Carter's favorite part.

Boys.

After a couple days of camping (and some much needed shampooing), we set off to celebrate...our nation's independence, not the end of our camping experience. Alright, maybe both were celebrated (I really did have a good time camping).

Here's a rundown of how it went:

Before fireworks

During fireworks

After fireworks

Moral of the story: Go ahead and skip fireworks after days of camping with no sleep.

P.S. I will admit it was a little painful coming home to 110 degree weather. Almost makes me wish I was camping in the cool of the mountains again. Then I woke up...on my Sealy Posturepedic with the A/C blasting. Life is good.

Baby Got Back

2009-07-01T07:49:00.000-07:00

Mothering from the couch has its ups and downs.

Most of the ups are felt by the children in the form of watching more TV, getting away with more than usual, eating whatever, and did I mention watching TV?

The downs are mostly mine-- a very messy house, bored children, and days spent shouting orders from the sofa.

Why all this couch sitting you ask? To quote Ian, "You have a headache in your back, Mommy?"

Yes, we've been hanging out at my annual back-going-out shindig. It's great fun. I blame Ashton, really. This is what his mugshot might have looked like on that fateful day.

Don't let that innocent face fool you. I experienced my 1st back-going-out incident while getting that kid out of the car when he was about 4 or 5 months.

It's not too bad. It only hurts when I walk, sit, or do pretty much anything having to do with my back for about a week. And if I'm lucky, it happens about once a year...twice if the universe really likes me.

Things are looking up...I'm actually sitting at the computer right now and not screaming in agony.

In other news (mostly for the parents in South Africa), I got bangs.

(please ignore the mess-- hurt back, remember?)

And yes, Dad. We're still working on the whole walking thing.

Still no go, though. We're hoping July will be his month.
Any ideas on how to get a kid to walk?

P.S. I gotta get off the couch or soon people will really be saying baby got back about me. Too bad hurting my back hasn't curbed the ol' appetite.

Not a Post About Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T07:07:00.001-07:00

{or Farrah Fawcett or Jon and Kate Plus 8}

But never fear, it will be about my little family. Yay! And aren't we more interesting than some pop culture anyway? Alright, maybe not.

But just look at this kid.

He's pretty cute, right? And when have thunder thighs and a double chin ever been so flattering? We'll show you, Hollywood Anorexia!

And who needs reality TV when you've got a brother for entertainment?

See what fun we have without the telly?
I think they were playing Backyardigans. Does that count?

Carter gave us a scare the other day, though.

He started breaking out with some wicked hot rhymes. But we had a heart-to-heart about the pitfalls of fame, fortune, and the music industry and he saw the error of his ways.

Well, I hope you've enjoyed this show biz-free post and my E True Hollywood Story all at the same time. I think I'm finished now, so you can go check out TMZ to get your fix.

P.S. Lest you think I'm heartless-- it is very sad about MJ, Farrah, and the breakdown of a marriage/family. I'm just on entertainment news overload. Sorry.

Awesome

2009-06-24T07:37:00.002-07:00

I've sat down to blog a couple times now and the computer screen and I just end up having a staring contest. And of course it wins every time (I wear contacts...give me a break, okay?). I've been told I'm a little competitive (alright, maybe a lot), so I've decided to give it one more go.

I don't really have much to report, but here's a little sampling of what we've been up to lately:

-- I'm proud to say that I threw one awesome Father's Day celebration.

Yes, that is a picture of Jonathan making his own Father's Day meal. I guess I should have specified that I had an awesome Father's Day, and that my kids have an awesome father (the meal was pretty awesome too).

-- Carter's had this awesome look on his face most of the week.

Turns out, his extra crankiness and fever produced 3 new teeth, or was it the other way around?

-- My little sister came over, seeking some education from her awesome, wiser sister.

She ended up teaching me how to give a thumbs up with my toes (although this is a picture of her toes, not mine). Pretty awesome, right?

So that just about raps up the last few days in my world. It's been a great few days. I might even call them awesome...but probably not.

P.S. So there, computer screen! I'm just going to go flood my eyes with saline now.